


Charlie and Scientist Hit the Slopes

by notastranger



Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: Implied Sexual Content, Jealousy, M/M, mountain rules
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-21
Updated: 2016-01-21
Packaged: 2018-05-15 09:21:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5780347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notastranger/pseuds/notastranger
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Inspired by the episode "The Gang Hits the Slopes". Scientist does not get the ski trip with Charlie that he envisioned, not the least of which because no one seems to be acting like their usual selves on the mountain, including Scientist.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Charlie and Scientist Hit the Slopes

Scientist was not having a very good time on this ski trip.

He had gone on mini-vacations with Charlie before, and even when the rest of the Gang had tagged along, it hadn’t been so bad. He never put Charlie in the awkward position of having to choose between his boyfriend or his friends, but he always took pride in the fact that Charlie gave him the majority of his attention and never let the Gang interfere with their romantic plans.

But so far this weekend, Scientist had barely seen Charlie. The man had somehow acquired savant-like skills in skiing and was hitting the expert slopes while Scientist was stuck navigating the easier trails. When they did cross paths, it was always in the company of the Gang. Scientist did not care much for Charlie’s friends on the best of days, and Dennis was being particularly insufferable. Scientist had imagined pushing him off the side of the mountain at least twice.

The absolute _worst thing_ , however, was how much attention Charlie was getting from the opposite sex — specifically, a striking brunette with a heavy Russian accent. She flirted heavily with Charlie in the lodge, laughing at all his jokes and oh-so-casually touching him on the arm or knee as they chatted amiably by the fire.

Scientist did not think of himself as the jealous type, but he was rapidly re-considering the possibility. He finished his drink and tapped Charlie gently on the shoulder. “Did you want to work on a puzzle before bed, Charlie? I packed a few of your favorites.”

“Eh, that’s okay. Tatiana’s telling me about all the gross soup she had to eat in Russia to stay warm.”

“Very gross,” the young woman agreed with a titillating laugh.

“It’s getting rather late,” Scientist said, attempting a different tactic. “Shouldn’t we be heading back to our room?”

Charlie shook his head. “You go on ahead, Doc. I’ll catch up with you later.”

 _No_ , Scientist wanted to reply. _Stop making conversation with this vile temptress and come to the room with me this instant_. Instead, he got up from his chair and nodded stiffly. “Goodnight, then.”

“‘Night,” Charlie said distractedly. Tatiana waved goodbye, her other hand resting on Charlie’s elbow.

Scientist stomped all the way back to the room.

~*~

Once alone, Scientist’s jealous ire grew into a sickening worry. The lavishness of their room — fireplace, jacuzzi, sheepskin-rug and all — only reminded him that Charlie was still socializing in the lodge — possibly _more_ than socializing, if that woman had her way. He had never questioned Charlie’s faithfulness before, but everything had been topsy-turvy from the moment they had set foot on the mountain. What if Charlie decided that this Russian snow bunny was more appealing than a gawkish nerd who could barely ski?

By the time Charlie came back to the room, Scientist had imagined the worst. “What kept you so long?” he demanded. “I was worried sick.”

Charlie glanced at his watch. “Dude. It’s been, like, 10 minutes.” He pulled off his snowboots and tossed them haphazardly in the direction of Scientist’s, which were lined up neatly by the door. “I wanted to hear the rest of Tatiana’s story.”

“Oh, is that all,” Scientist muttered to himself.

Charlie gave him a funny look. “Wait a second. Are you _jealous_?”

Scientist felt his face heat up. “She had her hands all over you, Charlie, and you didn’t want to come back to the room for puzzles.”

“You _are_ jealous!” Charlie seemed astonished by the idea. And mildly flattered. “Dude, I’m not interested in other people, and even if I were, I love you the most. I’m not gonna bang some random chick, even if she’s really pretty like a model but has bigger boobs than a model normally has.”

After a long day of abandonment, Charlie’s words weren’t sufficiently reassuring. Scientist sat down on the bed and turned away petulantly. “Well, how am I supposed to know that?”

“Her shirt was pretty tight, Doc. Even if she padded her bra, her boobs were—“

“I’m not talking about her boobs!” Scientist sputtered indignantly.

Charlie blinked. “But—“

Scientist realized what he had been implying with his earlier words at the very moment Charlie’s expression started to fall. “Oh, Charlie.” His face burned again, this time with shame. “I know you’d never cheat on me. I’ve just been out of sorts today. Please forgive me.”

“It’s okay.” Charlie sat next to him on the bed and smiled kindly. “Mountain rules, I get it.”

“Mountain rules?” Scientist repeated, looking Charlie in the eyes.

“Yeah, Dennis explained it to me. Everyone acts different when they’re at a ski resort. Stuff happens that wouldn’t normally happen. That sort of thing.”

Scientist tried not to grimace. “That sounds a little far-fetched.”

“Nah, man. It’s why I can ski so good, and why Tatiana was so into me even though I wasn’t wearing my old Halloween costume.” He nudged Scientist’s shoulder. “And maybe why you’re so jealous.”

Scientist let out a small huff of amusement. “Not so much anymore,” he said quietly. “Now that we’re finally spending time together.”

Charlie rubbed the side of his neck. “Yeah… I guess I got carried away on the slopes,” he admitted guiltily. “But hey! We’ve got all night in this awesome room.”

“That we do,” Scientist agreed. “Did you want to—“ His breath caught, distracted, as Charlie wrapped an arm around his neck and pulled him in closer, closer, until their lips were practically touching. “…work on a puzzle?”

“I have a better idea,” Charlie said before he kissed him. Hard.

~*~

Hours later, Scientist sighed happily while Charlie gently cleaned him off with a washcloth. He was completely, utterly spent, and he suspected that he wouldn’t be doing much skiing, or possibly sitting, the following day. But that was quite all right — they had certainly gotten plenty of use out of their room, including the jacuzzi.

Scientist made a mental note to leave an extra-good tip for the cleaning staff.

Charlie gave him a fond pat before disappearing into the bathroom. Scientist let his eyes fall shut, ready to drift into a peaceful slumber —

And opened them to the sound of jazz.

“Where did you get that saxophone,” Scientist asked incredulously, staring at the other man who was lounging naked in a chair. “And since when can you play one?”

Charlie popped the mouthpiece out of his mouth and shrugged. “Mountain rules.”


End file.
